Wednesday, September 26, 2007

I miss you Granpa!!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

When God Made Peace Officers...anonymous...

When the Lord was creating peace officers, he was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And the Lord said, "Have you read the spec on this order?

A peace officer has to be able to run five miles through alleys in the dark, scale walls, enter homes the health inspector wouldn't touch, and not wrinkle his uniform."He has to be able to sit in an undercover car all day on a stakeout, cover a homicide scene that night, canvass the neighborhood for witnesses, and testify in court the next day."He has to be in top physical condition at all times, running on black coffee and half-eaten meals. And he has to have six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands... no way."

"It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord, "It's the three pairs of eyes an officer has to have."

"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.

The Lord nodded. One pair that sees through a bulge in a pocket before he asks, "May I see what's in there, sir?" (When he already knows and wishes he'd taken that accounting job.) "Another pair here in the side of his head for his partners' safety. And another pair of eyes here in front that can look reassuringly at a bleeding victim and say, 'You'll be all right ma'am, when he knows it isn't so."

"Lord," said the angel, touching his sleeve, "rest and work on this tomorrow."

"I can't," said the Lord, "I already have a model that can talk a 250 pound drunk into a patrol car without incident and feed a family of five on a civil service paycheck.

"The angel circled the model of the peace officer very slowly, "Can it think?" she asked.

"You bet," said the Lord. "It can tell you the elements of a hundred crimes; recite Miranda warnings in its sleep; detain, investigate, search, and arrest a gang member on the street in less time than it takes five learned judges to debate the legality of the stop... and still it keeps its sense of humor. This officer also has phenomenal personal control. He can deal with crime scenes painted in hell, coax a confession from a child abuser, comfort a murder victim's family, and then read in the daily paper how law enforcement isn't sensitive to the rights of criminal suspects.

"Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the peace officer. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model."

"That's not a leak," said the lord, "it's a tear."

"What's the tear for?" asked the angel."It's for bottled-up emotions, for fallen comrades, for commitment to that funny piece of cloth called the American flag, for justice."

"You're a genius," said the angel.The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there," he said.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Ok, I know we are all sick of it by now. I do however have to pose a question. Why is it, Montel Willaims can find baby daddy in a one hour show, but we still have a list a four idiots that claim to be the dad of Anna Nicole's baby. I know it backward and Motel has five men claiming to NOT be baby daddy and these guys all want the, I mean the baby. Is it really that hard. Tell who it is, bury her and shut up already. Done:)


Saturday, January 13, 2007

What happens when you give spiders drugs? Funny Video

Take a moment for a nature video:)

Monday, December 11, 2006

The media in SD has a way of being blunt....

Fatso Robs Bank

12-09-2006 9:01 PM
(Pacific Beach, CA) -- A fat guy with a demand note robbed a Wells Fargo Bank inside a Ralph's Supermarket in the 4300 block of Mission Boulevard. Police say the suspect hit the bank about 10:20 a.m. yesterday morning and got away with an undisclosed amount of cash.

Copyright 2006 Metro Networks Communications Inc., A Westwood One Company

Sunday, December 10, 2006

I am having trouble finding something from my nights to write about. There are some interesting things in small calls, like the man who called and said that he was being held in a bedroom at some lady's house. Then the lady calls and says, no, no, you don't need to send anyone. The call center tells her that we are still coming because it was the guy who called for us. Then he called and said, no probs here guys. I wish we could have left it at that and said ok, your destiny is yours. Didn't happen. She opened the door wearing only a t-shirt. I will not be mean and describe her, but she was no playmate. The guy had left and we checked to be sure. We asked her why the problems and she said it was a misunderstanding during sex and he got "scared" and wanted to leave. She tried to keep him there and he called ME. Well not me personally, but might as well have been.

We never found the guy and figured he was ok. I checked the closets too to make sure she didn't have him diced up in there. People are strange!!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

South Park Cartman Cop